I generally like odd and random news no matter the circumstances, but it so happens that I had a strange dream this morning that incited this particular set of quirky news. In fact, the dream kind of tinged my entire day in oddity.
The thing is, I don’t usually remember my dreams. This morning, though, I had one of those surreal experiences of becoming conscious that I was dreaming during my dream. And then I solidified it in my memory because it was so off the wall.
So, here’s the dream: I was Kevin from The Wonder Years and Wayne was trying to borrow the car. Even though I was Kevin, Fred Savage’s Kevin was also there. And — this is the part that was really creepy — Daniel Stern was still narrating. Only I heard the narration as Kevin, in Kevin’s head. It was trippy, and I’ve had Daniel Stern’s voice stuck in my head all day now.
Thus, my day was odd, so let’s see what other odd things happened in the world.
First off — I’m a big fan of life imitating art. So, this British ATM was giving out double the amount of money requested. I wonder if Collins set the password for A-N-G-E-L. All right, I realize that was a stretch, but Rent is closing on Broadway June 1st so it’s on my brain.
Yay U.S. economy! The dollar is doing so poorly right now that in Amsterdam smaller currency outlets are refusing to exchange dollars for the euro. Gosh, you know things are bad when even rich American tourists on their European vacations have to face the fact that our economy is in the toilet.
Speaking of toilets (and that bad segue wasn’t intentional)… As if the Beijing Olympics didn’t have plenty of struggles already (what with the boycotts and protests), now Westerners are getting squicked out by Chinese squat toilets. And, like good little Westerners, they’re asking very nicely for sit toilets instead. (I’m sure someone threw a hissy fit.)
Now, this idea appeals to me: auction off your life, take the money, and go find a new one. Unfortunately, I don’t think that works so well for someone with my level of debt. Someday, though… I’m so in.
Let’s celebrate the flagrant extravagances of Western society! A French wine taster insured his nose for 5 million euros (that’s $8 million). You know, maybe it’s just because I’m not a wine drinker, but I just don’t see how a nose can be quite that valuable. Of course, the policy also stipulates that he can’t fight Mike Tyson and has to go to experienced barbers who have less chance of hurting his nose, so the idea is just amusing in all sorts of ways.
And what collection of random news would be complete without a dumb criminal? Today’s dumb criminal is a would be shoplifter who forgot to take his son along on his quick getaway. I can see how you would be distracted and all, but leaving your twelve year-old to deal with the authorities is just tacky.
All right, that’s been your random news on this odd day. Here’s hoping the world continues to keep us on our toes (because sometimes, the quirkiness is all that keeps me going).
